I am very excited about the over all change in things in the last couple of days. A sort of "free-ness"-- a liberation of sorts as I feel the power surge of the Spirit flooding back into my life. Like taking a breath from a fresh tank, after holding it until you might burst!
I found some writings from 2004. It was good to look back and have a "journey checkup". Just to see what was going on. It always stuns me how cyclical things are, when it comes to spiritual issues we thought we mastered, and maybe ones where we felt like we had no idea about, but in hindsight, we were actually wiser than we guessed.
I was struck by something the pastor said on Sunday. "What you feed, will grow."
Wow! Creativity, complacency, laziness, joy, contentedness, wisdom. All equal opportunities to grow or stagnate! I want to be selective about what receives my time and attention. Already, throwing the t.v. out has been the best thing I have done this year. And I like the change to my much more "boring" office job, within my company. At first I read a lot. Now I am on my computer (laptop) more, and I don't think I like it as much. So I'll change it.
I also went through a domestic spurt... kind of preparing to get back on the workout/"watching" kick again, after I've been away so long. I made a great lasagna!
For me-- it ALL works when it is a mind, body and soul connection. And that is what I am praying for. I am feeling a little more alive. But that will only get stronger as I feed my 'Spirit Man.' And he doesn't get fed by mere survival. There has to be fun. Dancing, smiling, joy. Peace, good rest, good fellowship. For anyone who has lost a loved one, you know the feeling of having life put on hold. It feels like life isn't meant to enjoy. Survivor's guilt? I'm not sure. But I have known deep joy at other difficult times in my life. And my dad will be waiting for me, when it's time... so we've got that covered. It is not the end, for those of us who believe. And life, for now is snapping back into focus, a little!
photo above taken by me "Field of Sunflowers" in Paraguay, South America 2006
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